Tuesday, October 6, 2009

save the moon.

dear NASA,

must you really fire missiles at the moon? earthlings have enough of a trigger-happy problem on this planet. now you find "justifiable reason" to bomb the moon. i'm appalled. 

the phrase "bomb the moon" itself screams W-R-O-N-G. i know you've been trying really hard to find natural resources on stars and planets because we've just about drained the banks here, but that is our problem and should stay our problem. honestly, the moon?! that's just flat-out blasphemous. 

OK, so maybe there isn't any "known life" we'd be destroying on this ethereal satellite.  that doesn't mean there aren't beings we don't have the capacity to see that we'll be completely demolishing. scientist are so arrogant they think they can safely say "we're in the clear, go ahead and fire away." but we don't really know, and we'll never really know. 

on top of that, they assume even if there are life forms of one dimension or another on the moon, they can't fight back. but what if they can? what if they retaliate by hurling their own crazy technology at us and suddenly, there is no more California, or England, or Atlantic Ocean. what if the train station near my parent's house is demolished in their alien revenge fire? or the Philz coffee shop near my friend's house is wiped out? these are things that affect our lives, NASA. i bet you don't consider all this when making your flippant decisions to bomb things like the moon.

and may i remind you that all females have cycles governed by the moon's phases? a little bombing, some "unexpected technical difficulties," and suddenly the moon is cracked, falling apart, disintegrating fast into space -- and every female on earth becomes a completely deranged lunatic, clawing at their uteruses and screaming "well you better make tampons free now, motherfuckers, because now it just won't STOP!!"

i know nobody wants to see that. 

c'mon? a missile? is that really necessary, you cowardly scientists, you "spacemen"? YOU go up there in one of your little space shuttles and drill for this alleged water yourself!! don't be just pointing and shooting at our beautiful, loyal moon that's serviced us for as long as we've existed. that's just flat-out disrespectful. 

if i had a friend with a space shuttle, i'd organize a crew to go up there and chain ourselves to their precious little alleged "water hole". i'd get the most serious protest going up there. we'd have all the space creatures on our side. but i don't have a space shuttle at my disposal, so my rants and protest have been contained to a blog. 

maybe i'm crazy. when talking about this to my friend, he said, "you need to get laid more." 

i said, "if being laid more makes me indifferent to this, than i don't want to get laid more." 

let the moon be. please, NASA.